Even More Chuck Norris Jokes @ WX Comedy

Chuck Norris @ WX Comedy

<>GO AHEAD, LAUGH OUT LOUD<>

It wasn't the chicken or the egg. It was Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to watch the news. The news comes to Chuck, and asks politely if it can explain itself to him.

Chuck Norris does not move, the earth rotates to where he wants to go.

Jupiter's Great Red Spot isn't a storm. It's where Chuck Norris puts his victims.

Who are Chuck Norris' parents? Might, Justice, and Cunning; Yes, all three.

Every time Chuck Norris beats someone up, he staples a certificate of authenticity to their bruises.

When Chuck Norris wants to get drunk he mixes 2kg of pure Heroine with 4L of straight Whiskey. The actual drink has little to no effect on him but he acts drunk to seem cooler to his friends.

Sonic booms are actually caused by Chuck Norris' nocturnal emissions.

Chuck Norris hates dogs. When he was introduced to the 101 Dalmatians, he roundhouse kicked every single last one of them to death. When asked why, he responded, "Disney movies are for babies."

Chuck Norris CAN find a needle in a haystack.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky".

Chuck Norris does not swim, he wades.

The hairs on Chuck Norris' chest have been scientifically shown to be as dense as steel cables.

Some men light matches by striking them against the stubble on their chin; Chuck Norris lights icicles.

If Chuck Norris were stretched out to one molecule thickness, he would encircle the universe thirteen times.

Crayola created a Chuck Norris colored crayon. No matter what you do on a piece of paper, a picture of Chuck giving you the thumbs up appears.

Rumors claim the dinosaurs were wiped out by a massive comet. This is false. Chuck Norris simply roundhouse kicked all of them into oblivion.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to wait 30 minutes after eating to go swimming. He can swim whenever he wants.

Trains have to stop for Chuck Norris.

Iran has given up on trying to develop nuclear weapons. They are now trying to develop a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has never been to Iraq, that's why President Bush hasn't found any Weapons of Mass Destruction there.

Chuck Norris doesn't kill time. He annihilates it.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, only Chuck Norris will hear it.

Jimi Hendrix didn't die. Neither did John Bonham, John Lennon, Mama Cass, Elvis Presley, or Janis Joplin. Chuck Norris just kidnapped them and forced them to form an all-star group for his own personal listening pleasure. The band, known as "Teapot Medallion," performs in Chuck's basement on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but the Friday night show is an 18 or older show, but it doesn't matter because the only person who knows about it is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris killed Dumbledore.

The Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris owns the Bermuda Triangle.

Chuck Norris can fly, walk through walls, and throw a ball into outer space. The laws of physics are too scared to apply to him.

In the children's story about the three little pigs. The wolf didn't give up on the brick house. He called upon Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick the brick house down into dust and then ate the three pigs. Later on Chuck Norris ate the wolf.

If Chuck Norris ever catches Tom Cruise jumping on his couch, Tom Cruise receive a roundhouse kick to the face.

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